As I’ve matured, I’ve reached a fundamental realization: my artistry and my emotions are inextricably linked. While this might sound self-evident, the culture of band directing often demands a rigid compartmentalization of the self. We are expected to be the poised, detached intellectual off the podium, only to pivot into a vibrant source of artistry the moment we step on it. But as I’ve grown into my own voice, I’ve realized that my emotions are the heartbeat of my artistry. We often mistake professionalism for the outwardly muted expression of our humanity. In reality, the thoughts and feelings we are told to suppress are the very things that make our work authentic.
I’ve always been a sensitive person. I feel deeply and fiercely. For a long time, I saw this emotional depth as a weakness. Now, I’m beginning to understand it as my superpower. My purpose is to evoke artistic expression in myself and others, and that’s impossible if I can’t feel or embody it. In fact, I’d go as far as to say the traditional concept of professionalism is fundamentally at odds with the true nature of band directing!
Professionalism is often defined as presenting oneself with integrity and respect. But beyond the dictionary definitions, the practical applications are steeped in patriarchal and exclusionary norms. Think dress pants, collared shirts, well-fitting clothes, closed-toe shoes, minimal accessories – the unspoken goal is often to project an image of wealth, whiteness, and power. How can professionalism claim to be apolitical when it so clearly reinforces existing power structures? Where is the room for diversity, culture, or artistic expression?
The underbelly of professionalism expects women to be subservient and apologetic, prioritizing masculinity over femininity. In the same way, it strips artists of their agency, demanding they change their clothes, hair, and personalities to fit in and succeed (and heaven forbid you challenge this notion because questioning the power structure is often seen as unacceptable, even if you’re right…but maybe that’s for another blog!). We’re conditioned to repress our humanity in service of an inauthentic persona, denying opportunities and dismissing perspectives from those who live or think outside the box.
Professionalism should serve us, not the other way around. It should never supersede the empathy and understanding we owe to the diverse individuals in our workplaces. It’s time to decolonize what professionalism truly means!
Reimagining professionalism isn’t about abandoning all obligations to one another. It’s about starting with self-education, examining the biases we’ve unconsciously absorbed and accepted as the only path to success. We are not cogs in a machine; we are human beings deserving of work environments where we can thrive authentically, precisely as we are!